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How to Say “No”

September 25, 2007 | Author: PM Hut | Filed under: Project Stakeholder Management

How to Say “No”
By David Carr

We are working in possibly the fastest-paced time that there has ever been. Every day we can be bombarded with requests for everything from a quick email to a new project. Sometimes it is difficult to remember that there are only so many hours in the day and that we humans are only built to take so much stress. Instead of accepting more and more jobs, working longer hours and encroaching into weekends and increasing our stress levels to the unhealthy, sometimes you just have to say “no”.

Saying “no” to people is difficult. Often pride gets in the way, stopping us from saying “no” because we believe it will make us look less efficient or out of control. Often it is our natural desire to please that makes the default answer “yes”. However, saying “yes” when your capacity for work is already bursting at the seems will not please people in the long run. It will just make other jobs suffer and leave you unable to produce the quality that you desire.

Saying “no” to a job is about protecting your own time and ensuring that you have enough time to give to your existing tasks. This post gives some strategies for saying “no”, freeing you to work to the best of your abilities without giving the impression that you are refusing work because you are lazy.

Understand What is Being Asked

When you are being asked to do something new, make sure that you listen carefully to the query before dismissing it out of hand. It may be that the job is much easier than expected, particularly if the asker is not describing the problem very well. Once you fully understand the issue, you are in the perfect position to give a truthful response.

Remember Your Plans

If you are currently working to a plan, be it a full project plan or just a simple To Do list and your plan is filling your time, explain this to the person asking you to add more. Do this without emotion, simply explaining that your do not have enough time to provide a quality service for both the existing jobs and the new job. Giving a genuine reason for the refusal is important.

Be Clear

When you say “no”, make sure that the person has understood this. Ask them if they understand that you are saying “no” and why that is. Don’t be wishy-washy and let somebody leave you thinking that you said “yes” or that you are going to deal with the problem.

Be Polite but Firm

You should not be rude when you say “no” but you should be firm. People generally prefer a firm answer and it shows greater professionalism. “I am sorry but I cannot help with that because …” is much better than “No, I am too busy”.

Refer to Manager

If the person asking you to take on a new task is insistent and will not take no for an answer, refer them to your manager. If they talk to your manager, or they are your manager, and the job comes back to you with a high priority then you may well have to do it. However, this will give you the option to explain your current workload and allow your boss to set priorities knowing the potential impact.

Offer Alternative Solutions

As long as you understand the problem and the desired outcome, you may be able to offer alternative solutions. These may be as simple as redirecting the job to another person with free time or may be offering a completely different way to achieve the same result; preferably one that uses less of your time to implement. This allows you to reduce your involvement whilst still appearing to be a helpful person.

Offer to Reconsider Later

Explain that you are currently overstretched but that you may reconsider later if you are able to finish your work more quickly than anticipated. Make sure that it is understood that you are saying “no” though.

Reject the Work, Not the Person

When you reject a piece of work, make sure that the language that you use is rejecting the task and not the person. If necessary, explain this directly. Don’t create a barrier that stops the person from asking you for help again in the future. At best this would make you seem unhelpful, at worst it could cost you work, and potentially money, in the future.

Give Work Back

Sometimes the only option is to say “yes” to a request. If possible, give some work back to the person that is asking you for help. If you are able to trade tasks, some of your time can be made available to accommodate the request.

Future Planning

Ask the person how a problem such as this can be avoided in the future through better planning. Sometimes through more appropriate project management or simple planning, last-minute tasks do not occur.

Control the Timetable

When saying “yes”, set your own timetable. It may be that you think that you are being asked to drop everything and do a job immediately. However, if you offer to have the work completed by the end of the week, this may satisfy. If not, the person asking may consider an alternative solution.

Make it Clear that the Favour Must be Returned

Finally, let the person asking for help know that you may expect a favour in return. The simple “You Owe Me One!” phrase won’t stop you accepting the task but may mean that when you are next over-loaded that you can ask for some help yourself.

David Carr is a Software Development Manager responsible for team management, project management and software development using Microsoft technologies. This article was reproduced with permission from his blog, which can be found at http://david-carr.blogspot.com/.

Article original source: http://david-carr.blogspot.com/2007/08/how-to-say-no.html

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 and is filed under Project Stakeholder Management. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 people have left comments

Great insights - thanks for visiting my blog and pointing me to this useful info.

Tanmay Vora wrote on October 14, 2008 - 11:21 am | Visit Link

Hi David,

Thank you for referring me to this article. I like the options you present - I have a question about referring people to your manager. Would it be better to take the request from that person and present it to your manager - identifying the options and explaining the impacts?

Then you have control over:
1) How your current workload is presented to your manager
2) How the current request will impact your workload and the commitments the PMO has made
If your manager determines that it is more important, than you are have kept both your manager and the requestor happy. What do you think?

Joelle Godfrey wrote on September 11, 2009 - 5:24 pm | Visit Link

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